Connecting the dots

It's funny how timings work - the day after I decided that I didn't want this blog to have any connection to the outside world, I watched the following video of Amanda Palmer doing a talk on the art of asking, on the importance of putting yourself out there and connecting with people.

It has articulated something that I hadn't quite realised when I wrote that last post. Sending out things into the void that is the Internet without directing them at anyone is not the solution to anything. After watching that video, it even seemed a little cowardly. The truth is that the reason behind most things that we do is connection to others, and this is particularly the case with anything creative.

The process of creating can be in itself enjoyable (or at times it can be like pulling teeth in which case unless you are a die-hard masochist, there has to be another aim to what you are doing. Having had three wisdom teeth out, I can confirm that pulling teeth is far from fun) but nothing quite compares to the rush of someone who is not related or married to you / sleeping with you, (because we all know they are hopelessly biased towards you, which is in itself a very lovely thing) reading what you wrote, seeing what you created, and telling you that they enjoyed it.

Reaching across the void and touching someone else, that is the real aim. Even if it's one person, that one person makes it all worth it. But the only way to touch someone in any significant way is by creating things that come from a place of truth. I realised that if what I'm doing is simply imitating what others have done before to try and emulate their success, it won't work. Or if I'm doing it for any other reason than the love of the work and the desire to create that connection. Anything I've done under that motivation rings false, and quite frankly is crap.

So I guess that means baring all (as Amanda does so well in this hilarious open letter to the Daily Mail), not holding anything back. Going all in, going for broke.

I'm not quite there yet. The idea of exposing myself in such an intimate way (get your mind out of the gutter, we're back onto writing and off nudity) to people that I know and people that I don't know, is still far too terrifying. But writing on here without giving any thought to readership or judgement, that is my first tiny step. I guess that's the first step to anything, learning to accept yourself so completely that you no longer fear what the opinion of you will be.

I wonder what the next step will be.

On a lighter note, dear non-reader, I feel you should know that right now there is one cat draped across my stomach so that I have to type with one arm over him. This is a rather awkward position to hold and my right arm is aching a little as a result.

I have become very adept at typing with my arms in weird positions due to cat obstruction. Because of course neither of my cats have any interest in me until I am lying on the sofa with my laptop on my lap. (Our dining chairs are horrifically uncomfortable, and I cannot sit at them for more than 30 min at a time. Which is unfortunate as I do love a long lunch. It also means that my place of choice to type is curled up on the sofa).

To relieve said ache in my arm I am going to call it a day and go make myself a cup of tea. Would you like one?